Australia is falling faster than the acceleration due to gravity (which is 32 feet per second per second in case you are wondering). Mitchell Marsh's batting average is making baseball batting averages look like Don Bradman's. Australia is trying out players after players as if they have an entire army of tried and tested players to build. They are handing baggy green like a 2 dollar note. Australia is bad right now. Probably the worst they ever have been in their cricketing history.
Someone once said, "There are only bad options. It's about finding the best one."
Australia is unable to even do that. The whole team seems so fragile. They can't play spin, they can't play quality fast bowling, they can't bowl oppositions out when nothing is happening. They were pathetic in 3 of the 4 innings in this series.
Under Tim Paine, they haven't won a single match so far. They have been playing under Tim Paine for the last 6 months. An Aussie victory is rarer than watching Halley's comet nowadays.
A quick question: What are the things which Shaun Marsh and Mitchell Marsh have in common? a. Both play for Queensland. b. Both want to visit planet Jupiter some day. c. Both are bipedal human beings. c. Both can't bat when it matters.
Mitchell Marsh is the vice-captain of this current Australian team. Why? No human being knows the answer.
Mitchell Marsh is batting higher than Burj Khalifa (at number 5 in case you are wondering). Why? Again. No human being has the answer.
Mitchell Marsh has always been a waste of a plane ticket. Still, he keeps on getting opportunities as if failing to do so would anger him to burn this entire planet and humanity.
Shaun Marsh: Same story. Too many promises. Too little delivery. Mohammad Abbas made him look like a 5-year old kid who can't find his parents at the airport.
Shaun Marsh is a nicker.
Nickers should be dropped for they are the ones who provide fodder for the pouting lips of the slip cordon.
During whole series, Abbas could be seen punching the air celebrating a wicket as if he holds a personal grudge against it. He is number 3 bowler in test cricket right now in this galaxy.
Labuschagne made his debut in the first test. Labuschagne was picked to make bowlers tired.
During whole series, Labuschagne was seen mostly not with the bat in his hands, but with the ball.
Holland and Siddle: Not their fault. They have got each other's shoulders to cry on. They are angry with their parents for giving birth to them at such a time when the rest of Australia can't bat, bowl or field.
Starc: Can't do much when the batters are busy trying to find creative ways to get out and not give his quickly aging pair of legs some rest.
Lyon: The GOAT was fine. Should have been the vice-captain.
Other than Finch, Khawaja and Paine defiance in the first test and Lyon's brilliance in the second, it was a complete fiasco of a series for Australia. ICC rankings, for what they are worth considers them the number 5 team on this planet. It could get worse.
If you want to have a little chortle, listen to this at the end of the series from Australian captain:
"There's no doubt this has been happening for too long for the Australian cricket team, not just our Test team but probably domestically, there's a lot of collapses throughout our batting group. A lot of it can be technical, some guys will be mental and other guys will be tactical or your plans not being right for certain bowlers. There's no shying away from the fact we've got a hell of a lot of work to do with our batting, and that's not just this team, it's throughout the whole country."
All I can mutter while watching this Australian team collapse from my couch, sipping a hot cup of tea is: "O Australia, Dear Australia! What happened to you, Sunshine?"
Someone once said, "There are only bad options. It's about finding the best one."
Australia is unable to even do that. The whole team seems so fragile. They can't play spin, they can't play quality fast bowling, they can't bowl oppositions out when nothing is happening. They were pathetic in 3 of the 4 innings in this series.
Under Tim Paine, they haven't won a single match so far. They have been playing under Tim Paine for the last 6 months. An Aussie victory is rarer than watching Halley's comet nowadays.
A quick question: What are the things which Shaun Marsh and Mitchell Marsh have in common? a. Both play for Queensland. b. Both want to visit planet Jupiter some day. c. Both are bipedal human beings. c. Both can't bat when it matters.
Mitchell Marsh is the vice-captain of this current Australian team. Why? No human being knows the answer.
Mitchell Marsh is batting higher than Burj Khalifa (at number 5 in case you are wondering). Why? Again. No human being has the answer.
Mitchell Marsh has always been a waste of a plane ticket. Still, he keeps on getting opportunities as if failing to do so would anger him to burn this entire planet and humanity.
Shaun Marsh: Same story. Too many promises. Too little delivery. Mohammad Abbas made him look like a 5-year old kid who can't find his parents at the airport.
Shaun Marsh is a nicker.
Nickers should be dropped for they are the ones who provide fodder for the pouting lips of the slip cordon.
During whole series, Abbas could be seen punching the air celebrating a wicket as if he holds a personal grudge against it. He is number 3 bowler in test cricket right now in this galaxy.
Labuschagne made his debut in the first test. Labuschagne was picked to make bowlers tired.
During whole series, Labuschagne was seen mostly not with the bat in his hands, but with the ball.
Holland and Siddle: Not their fault. They have got each other's shoulders to cry on. They are angry with their parents for giving birth to them at such a time when the rest of Australia can't bat, bowl or field.
Starc: Can't do much when the batters are busy trying to find creative ways to get out and not give his quickly aging pair of legs some rest.
Lyon: The GOAT was fine. Should have been the vice-captain.
Other than Finch, Khawaja and Paine defiance in the first test and Lyon's brilliance in the second, it was a complete fiasco of a series for Australia. ICC rankings, for what they are worth considers them the number 5 team on this planet. It could get worse.
If you want to have a little chortle, listen to this at the end of the series from Australian captain:
"There's no doubt this has been happening for too long for the Australian cricket team, not just our Test team but probably domestically, there's a lot of collapses throughout our batting group. A lot of it can be technical, some guys will be mental and other guys will be tactical or your plans not being right for certain bowlers. There's no shying away from the fact we've got a hell of a lot of work to do with our batting, and that's not just this team, it's throughout the whole country."
All I can mutter while watching this Australian team collapse from my couch, sipping a hot cup of tea is: "O Australia, Dear Australia! What happened to you, Sunshine?"
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