Australia in Free Fall

Australia is falling faster than the acceleration due to gravity (which is 32 feet per second per second in case you are wondering). Mitchell Marsh's batting average is making baseball batting averages look like Don Bradman's. Australia is trying out players after players as if they have an entire army of tried and tested players to build. They are handing baggy green like a 2 dollar note. Australia is bad right now. Probably the worst they ever have been in their cricketing history.

Someone once said, "There are only bad options. It's about finding the best one."

Australia is unable to even do that. The whole team seems so fragile. They can't play spin, they can't play quality fast bowling, they can't bowl oppositions out when nothing is happening. They were pathetic in 3 of the 4 innings in this series.

Under Tim Paine, they haven't won a single match so far. They have been playing under Tim Paine for the last 6 months. An Aussie victory is rarer than watching Halley's comet nowadays.

A quick question: What are the things which Shaun Marsh and Mitchell Marsh have in common? a. Both play for Queensland. b. Both want to visit planet Jupiter some day. c. Both are bipedal human beings. c. Both can't bat when it matters.

Mitchell Marsh is the vice-captain of this current Australian team. Why? No human being knows the answer.
Mitchell Marsh is batting higher than Burj Khalifa (at number 5 in case you are wondering). Why? Again. No human being has the answer.

Mitchell Marsh has always been a waste of a plane ticket. Still, he keeps on getting opportunities as if failing to do so would anger him to burn this entire planet and humanity.

Shaun Marsh: Same story. Too many promises. Too little delivery. Mohammad Abbas made him look like a 5-year old kid who can't find his parents at the airport.
Shaun Marsh is a nicker.
Nickers should be dropped for they are the ones who provide fodder for the pouting lips of the slip cordon.

During whole series, Abbas could be seen punching the air celebrating a wicket as if he holds a personal grudge against it. He is number 3 bowler in test cricket right now in this galaxy.

Labuschagne made his debut in the first test. Labuschagne was picked to make bowlers tired.

During whole series, Labuschagne was seen mostly not with the bat in his hands, but with the ball.

Holland and Siddle: Not their fault. They have got each other's shoulders to cry on. They are angry with their parents for giving birth to them at such a time when the rest of Australia can't bat, bowl or field.

Starc: Can't do much when the batters are busy trying to find creative ways to get out and not give his quickly aging pair of legs some rest.
Lyon: The GOAT was fine. Should have been the vice-captain.

Other than Finch, Khawaja and Paine defiance in the first test and Lyon's brilliance in the second, it was a complete fiasco of a series for Australia. ICC rankings, for what they are worth considers them the number 5 team on this planet. It could get worse.

If you want to have a little chortle, listen to this at the end of the series from Australian captain:
"There's no doubt this has been happening for too long for the Australian cricket team, not just our Test team but probably domestically, there's a lot of collapses throughout our batting group.  A lot of it can be technical, some guys will be mental and other guys will be tactical or your plans not being right for certain bowlers. There's no shying away from the fact we've got a hell of a lot of work to do with our batting, and that's not just this team, it's throughout the whole country."

All I can mutter while watching this Australian team collapse from my couch, sipping a hot cup of tea is: "O Australia, Dear Australia! What happened to you, Sunshine?"

Cricket will miss you, Cooky!

My emotional development from a little kid living in the suburbs of India to an adult runs very parallel to generation Alastair Cook. He is leaving International Cricket after Oval test at the end of summer, but he won't ever be gone from my mind.

I liked Alastair Cook from the first glance I had at him when he was picked at the Nagpur test in India in 2006 as a 21-year-old teenager. He shocked the world by getting a 60 and 104* against two of the best spinners of that time. Making a hundred against India in India is something so many have dreamt and died without fulfilling. Cooky did it in the first attempt after flying 10000 miles from the Caribbean coming as a last-minute replacement! I knew that he was such a special talent. The chef, my hero, and role-model-to-be.

Before I saw Alastair Cook, I hated everyone I met. I hated the rules and regulations. I wanted to be this cool guy from the Hollywood movies. I wanted to be wearing V-neck t-shirts and going to the mall, looking cool on social media and all those things cool guys do. I must admit I have never been a patient guy. Since childhood, I have always wanted to do things fast. Everything. I hate to waste time. I want things quickly. Watching and following Cook in England's shirt changed me for the better. He taught me the value of placidness, humbleness, patience, and calmness. I was never the same after I saw Cook. It was the cricketing equivalence of Buddhism. I liked him and I will always like him from everything I have. He has had a huge role to play to wherever I am today.

So many things I do in life, I can find a bit of Alastair Cook in it. He is there with me. All the time. He has such an indelible impression on me. I was always a rebellion. He was the string which compelled me to be a gentleman. He is one of the big reasons, I have always tried to polite to everybody I met since high school until now. I believed in his methods. It was him who taught me that being a gentleman is not a choice, it is a responsibility. Every time I look at him, it gives me a sense of sanity in the world. He symbolizes something far greater than the numbers in cricket. He is a living symbol that traditional methods still work. He is an epitome of hard work, perseverance, focus, commitment, and sheer will. He scored so many runs with his limited scoring options. The thing with him was: If something wasn't working out for him, he will put it to bed and try to score runs with his strengths. He gave everything he had to be the best player he could be to the best of his abilities. His grit and determination are a story worth telling to the future generations of young cricketers.

As a batsman, Alastair Cook was something who I instantly fell for. Though I have always liked aggression in sports, watching Cooky bat was a different joy altogether. It was a perfect let-out from the ennui of life. It was pure art. Easy to the eyes. A complete package of concentration, knowing where your off-stump is and using your limited scoring areas to score unlimited runs. You can keep bowling him all day and he will keep batting for hours after hours. If you think you can frustrate him into throwing his wicket away, you are dreaming. His appetite for runs was as immense as I have ever seen. He retires as England's highest run-getter by some distance. As an England opener, you play half your games with Duke balls which are the toughest to bat with. There are no night-watchmen for openers and add England's struggling mostly in cricket, he often had to bat at most uncomfortable timings possible in tests. As a person, he is easily the nicest bloke you will ever find in cricket. If you ever introduce him to someone, they will give you a high-five.

I still get nightmares remembering the Ryan Harris delivery which got Cooky a golden duck in his 100th test at WACA in 2013-14. It is one of the lowest moments of my cricketing life and it will always be. It was December 16, 2013. I use the video of that dismissal to remind myself of the unfairness and cruelty of life.

Cook announced his retirement just 2 days after my 25th birthday. September is my favorite month by some distance. September 2018 won't be, because of him leaving. Cooky leaving the scene also reminds me of how quickly time flies. It seems only yesterday when I saw a handsome kid from Essex County making runs all over the world and now today he is leaving. My own life is so much part of him playing test cricket. It was as if I felt his success and failures vicariously. He always felt so close to heart.

I just turned 25. I started watching Alastair Cook when I was 13. I loved watching test cricket since the beginnings. Watching Cooky bat in a test match was a dream come true. I remember watching his MCG special 244* in my graduate lab the whole day when I was supposed to be reading a research paper. Such was his spell over me. I couldn't focus on anything when Cooky was there on the pitch. It was his aura.

I was thinking how will I ever explain the greatness of Cooky to someone who didn't witness his mastery. How will I ever explain living an entire lifetime in those 12 years of Cooky's career? How will I explain this to my kids in the future?

I am going to tell them his debut century at Nagpur to his record-breaking Ashes 2010-11 series. From his Edgbaston grand-grand daddy to his 3 hundred to beat India in India. I will definitely tell them his 14-hour marathon 263 in UAE to mastering the pink ball under flood-lights to make 243. Whenever the kids are bored, I will play them a few videos on the internet of him driving, cutting and pulling on his way to greatness.

My cricketing life has seen so many generations. Cook remains the most influential player among all those. I want to be Alastair Cook.

Yet another abysmal winter for England

Insanity is doing same thing over and over again and expecting different results. ~ Albert Einstein

England finished their winter season today. Stats from this season are woeful. Played: 7. Won: 0, Lost: 5. Four of those losses were in Ashes and one was against the kiwis today. Lost both series. England leave Hagley oval tonight with same questions as they had when they first landed in Brisbane five months ago. Being denied by New Zealand's lower order meant they are now winless away from home in a record 13 matches. They have lost 5 of them by innings. That is bad even by England's standards.

Other than boxing day test, when Cooky saved England from whitewash and the performance in Christchurch this week, there is not much to show for during this whole dreadful season. From getting bowled out to 58 to losing by innings from 368-4 at WACA, this season had every ingredient of a nightmare. Stokesy was away for the Ashes, which had a huge impact on the series result, but there was none else to blame other than himself. He needs to learn and hopefully he will.

During this winter season, the performance of pacers other than Jimmy and Broad was absolutely stinking. While Broad and Anderson averaged 29 together, rest of the others averaged a whopping 72! You don't win many games when third, fourth and fifth bowlers average in excess of 70.

The team looks horrendously unstable. I love Cooky as much as anyone else, but 80% of his runs in last 20 innings have come in just 2 innings (243 against West Indies and 244* at MCG against Australia). He averaged less than 10 in this current series, which is simply not good enough for someone having scored more than 12,000 test runs. It is creating pressure on newbies like Stoneman. England would want him to come back with oodle of runs this summer. He is the best batsman in England and he has earned his right to call his time on career, but time also seems to be closing on him quickly.

While the white ball team is on a roll and arguably the best in the world right now, the test team in general looks abysmal. Trevor Bayliss is not having any answer to their overseas test woes. In my opinion, England cricket needs a fresh red ball coach and a new beginning starting with chopping and changing the coaching staff. ECB needs to prioritize Test cricket again. By focusing more on white ball after 2015 world cup, they seem to have forgotten about test cricket completely. Nothing seems to be working. The concern now is that England's overseas problems could start to erode a healthy home record that has propped up their Test standing over the last two years.

There are some silver linings from all this though. Malan looks like the find of the season. Vince was convincing on a number of occasions, though he still averages in the 20s after 13 games, but IMO he is worth the investment. Stoneman looks like a good bet considering the form Alastair Cook is in. Mark Wood is fit and back in the team. His pace will be crucial when England visits Australia again in the future. Anderson is as breezy as ever. In fact, like an old fine wine, he is getting better and better with age. Even in the disaster of Ashes, he managed to pick 17 wickets at a respectable average of 27. Today at Hagley Oval, he also overcame Courtney Walsh to become the bowler to have bowled maximum number of deliveries by a pace bowler in tests. That is an excellent testament to his longevity in the game and his services to English cricket. Broad endured his toughest ever year in 2017, but seems to be back reasonably well as his performances in New Zealand show. Jonny Bairstow has become arguably their most reliable batsman.

On the downside, Moeen Ali and Chris Woakes were disappointing. Woakes averages 61 with the ball overseas, which is ridiculously bad. Ali neither seems to be getting runs, nor pick up crucial wickets, which made him useful in the first place. Root has had 7 fifties this season and yet he failed to convert a single one of them into a hundred. Vince promises so much, yet he delivers so little. Mark Stoneman got a couple of starts in Ashes and looked good on a number of times. Even in this series he got two fifties, but time seems to be running out for him as well. Neither Stoneman nor Vince has nailed down their spots, though ECB is likely to stick with them for a while. They have experimented with Leach, Crane, Curran etc. but none of them have been very impressive. It will be interesting to see their starting XI in the coming summer.

There is just so much chaos that I can't possibly say. Serious changes are needed, otherwise touring teams next summer are going to give them a really hard time. I will watch from the sidelines as usual and wish them luck as always.

England: Consistently inconsistent

Finally, the humiliation is over. If you are an England fan, you will be relieved that the game didn't go to fifth day. It was almost comforting. The whole batting looked like a comedy show. Dean Elgar said last night that Proteas didn't want an easy win. Maybe England heard them. As if they were so desperate to prove him wrong, they didn't show any fight at all. Total surrender. Complete submission.

England have been amazing in terms of inconsistency for the last two years in test cricket. Since 2015, this is the 8th occasion on which they have lost a test match in the very next match after pulling off a victory. They have now lost 6 of their last 8 test matches. In this match, their combined two innings spanned for 96.1 overs, while South Africa's first innings stretched for 96.2 overs. You don't win many games by batting for less than 100 overs. They didn't last 2 sessions in second innings. Everyone talks about how much talent is there in this England's side. It annoys me a lot. Brutal fact: They don't deliver when it matters.

Their team selection is comical. Let me highlight more over this.

According to coach Trevor Bayliss, Moeen is England's 2nd best and Dawson is the best spinner in the country. (I doubt even Dawson's mum will agree with that). Moeen has picked 14 wickets and won Lord's test for his country. Dawson got a pair there. Dawson doesn't look threatening with ball, that is totally fine. He was picked over Rashid as he is miserly in giving away runs. The problem is : In both the tests, he gave away too many vital runs. His batting was bonus, which ran out of luck against world class Proteas attack. (He got 66* on debut against India, which led to his preference over Crane and Rashid). Sometimes, I wonder what would a team with 11 Dawsons look like (Imagine the 12th man is Dawson too). What in almighty God's name they are gonna do? Can't bowl. Can't bat. Fields at innocuous positions. By his reaction on the field, it seems as if even he has no idea why he is getting picked.

Coming to Gary Ballance. He has no idea what he is doing in the middle of a ground with a wooden thing in his hand. There is no doubt that he earned his England recall by scoring oodle of runs in county championship. (For the record, he was averaging almost 100 when he got picked). But, on international arena, he is just so clueless. His technique continues to betray him. He doesn't know whether to go forward or on back-foot. He was standing almost pacific ocean deep in his crease even when Vernon was pitching the ball so full. By the time he makes a decision, a whole parliament session is over. His weak craftsmanship against full balls were exposed dangerously in 2015 Ashes by Australian pair of Mitchells. He has already been dropped twice for his poor technique, I doubt there will be any way back for him to live this dream once another sack happens. He needs to pull up his socks and if he is lucky enough to be included for Oval test, that will be probably his last chance. He needs some vital runs if he wants a ticket for Brisbane later this year.

Opening pair: I can write a whole romantic novel over Cooky's long search for true love in the form of opening partner. Ever since Strauss retired, England have tried 11 openers (if my memory serves me right in this old age). Still everyone comes, hangs out for a while and then Cook is left frustrated. It is not that the openers England have tried have not been given long runs. Just the mere fact that the gap between County championship and international cricket is proving out to be too much to adjust. I liked young Hameed. It just disappoints me so much that he got injured when he was in sublime touch against India. This county season, his form has been abysmal. I really adored Keaton Jennings. From Durham. Good mates with Woody, Stokes and Collingwood speaks highly of him. His father has been an amazing influence over his cricket. He looks good when he bats. Getting a ton in your first game on Indian soil is something not many players achieve. Sadly, even he is turning out to be just another heartache. It is not that he has played very badly in this series. But, he seems to be getting too many unplayable balls, which indicates that he is not international quality yet.

Mark wood is proving out to be too one-dimensional. In white ball cricket, he is the go-to bowler for Eoin Morgan. He can run, bowl fast and reverse swing the old ball. A perfect weapon for any captain. But, I doubt he is yet ready for the rigors of test cricket. He last played a test in 2015 and has never played two tests back to back. He is averaging 197 in this series. One wicket in two games. That wicket too of JP Duminy. It is simply not good enough. Perhaps it was a mistake to include him for Trent Bridge. Maybe Toby Roland Jones should have been given his debut here. Well. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, isn't it? Everything looks so clear when we look at things in retrospect. Ah!

Another issue which is hampering their progress is : There are just too many all-rounders in this England team. Once Woakes returns, there will be 8 players in this line-up who can ball and 10 players who have got a first class hundred. It is certainly nice to have this cushion of skill in your team, but right now it is backfiring for England. Moeen doesn't know what his role is. He was not given the ball till first 45 overs in first innings and later he was the one who picked 4 wickets in second innings. Either he is doing too much, or nothing at all. Stokes: normally a helluva cricketer when on song. This series, he has not done justice either with bat or ball. He is bowling too many release balls at the moment. Bairstow, Root, Cook, Anderson and Broad have looked good, but haven't found much support from others.

This defeat won't be hard for any England's cricket fan to swallow. After all, they have been doing this for a while now. They are getting used to this. Anyway, tomorrow we have England and South Africa ODI game in Women's world cup. I can only expect that Knight's team haven't watched the highlights of this game and put on a better show.

Well. Enough already. Like it is: With England cricket, happiness is a rare episode in the general drama of pain. Let us await what unfolds in Oval.

Crisis looming Test Cricket?

Test cricket is dying. Not yet. But, soon it will if it keeps on getting ignored by ICC and the current state is very delicate. Let's investigate it a little further.

Test cricket is the ultimate form of not only cricket, but all forms of sports. It tests you like nothing else. It will peel you off gradually layer by layer and finds out all about you. It will reveal what you are made of from inside. The highest possible form. The summit. There is nothing like it. It explores you 6 hours a day continuously for 5 days. You don't lose or win a test match by fluke. Victory has to be absolute. You won't lose a test match by a one-over disaster. You will lose it slowly and there are hardly any upsets. If you have got a flaw, it will be exposed over and over and unless you find a cure for it, you will be gone. Just like that. There are no fielding restrictions, one bowler will keep on probing you till he gets you or you get him. There is follow-on, night-watchman, declaration, Lunch, Tea and all those things. You have to use the best conditions for bowling, batting and give the opposition what they like the least. It is a battle of patience, technique, temperament, character and skill. As Sir Ian Botham said, "What's not to like in test cricket?" It is pure joy. It is a class above all other formats.

But, current state of Test cricket is abysmal. So many problems have loomed test cricket. Crowd attendance is getting poorer each day. Star Players are not playing test cricket. There are games without context. The pay players get for playing test cricket is not matching to that to T20 leagues and so on. It warrants immediate attention from ICC. If unchecked, this may lead to extinction of test cricket as we know it altogether.

One of the big factors causing slump in test cricket is the fact that big players Like AB deVilliers, Chris Gayle etc. are opting out of it. The usual excuse is to keep themselves fit for the world cup or extend their cricket careers. Or the ostensibly palpable fact that they can earn a lot more money by playing just a few weeks of ludicrous T20 leagues than they would if they play test cricket for whole year. To me, world cup build up is one of the most overrated things in cricket. There are knockouts in a world cup and cricket is one of the sports in which you don't have to play bad to lose. The opposition brilliance might do it. One player in opposition can take the game away from you. You can't prepare for something like that with complete certainty. Of course, you can do a lot of drills, play a lot of matches to acclimatize yourself, but it will remain uncertain till the day. Why prepare ourselves for an ideal situation which doesn't exist? Why not enjoy a full career involving test and limited overs cricket side by side if you are good at it? Why restrict ourselves to doing half the work? Why not savor the longest format? It is disheartening to see the current state of affairs involving test cricket.  Because of these T20 leagues hampering the availability of players, hardly any team is putting their best XI on the field for a test game at all. Players pull crowd and if good players aren't around, crowd won't come.

Well. Let's talk about T20 leagues. There are T20 leagues going on in every country now. Very recently, Cricket South Africa announced the onset of their own T20 league. So, there we have it. T20 leagues in India, Australia, Pakistan, South Africa, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh and so on. Even England are planning to  remodel their T20 blast structures to a city based structure. How far it will go can't be said at this stage. It is certainly a potential threat to the very existence of test cricket. If people don't go to watch test matches, the game won't survive. A big part of cricket will die.

For International cricket to thrive and prosper, more teams should be playing test cricket and above all, all great players should be playing test cricket. Very recently, ICC added two more teams Afghanistan and Ireland to their test arena and I certainly couldn't be happier about it. To me, it was an absolute moment of joy. Test cricket needs more teams and competitive matches. The crowd attendance in countries (other than England and Australia) have been deteriorating continuously for test cricket. In some parts of the world, the perception of test cricket is diminishing. They prefer T20. There is music, slam-bang batting, starting the game with a fire and all that. It is certainly exciting and undoubtedly, cricket has grown a notch up because of it. But, by abandoning test cricket, we risk losing the sacred legacy of the beautiful game we love. Test cricket needs safeguarding and desperate measures are needed. It is really frightening to see that if the current stage continues, then it may reach the point of no return.

Test cricket is all about heritage and tradition. Bring on pink ball, day-night, four-day tests or test championship. It hardly matters. As long as superstars are opting out of it, it won't be the same. Spectators go to watch cricket to watch quality cricket and only the reinstatement of good players can provide them that. The gap between earning due to T20 leagues and national contracts for test cricket needs to lessen. ICC could provide giving more context to the test matches by launching test championship.  That would encourage interest among players, spectators and broadcasters. Talks about it have been going on for a while and it is time that something actually happens in this direction.

Test cricket needs its fans. It needs protection from ICC. After all, it is the mother of all forms. Hopefully, things will sort themselves out and the inheritance of test cricket will last forever.