Annoying cliches in cricket

Despite being the most beautiful game on this planet, the game of cricket is full of cliches. These quotes used to mean a lot of things once upon a time. But, now they have been used so many times that they don't mean almost anything. In this blog, I am going to list a few of them which I can recall.

Let me start with the obvious ones:
We wanted to :

1. "Take it ball by ball" : Yes. You can play only one ball at a time. No hints required there, Genius. 
2. "Take it over by over" : Sure. But it is just another way of saying "ball by ball for 6 consecutive times", isn't it?
3. "Take it session by session" : Again, This is like: "I'm so sick of same old love".
4. "Take it one game at a time" : You can play one game at a time. 
5. "Take it one batsman at a time".
6. "Take one opposition at a time".
7. "Take one season at a time".

Bla, Bla, Bla.

All of these above things absolutely mean nothing. Their semantic content is absolutely NULL. Let us go through a few more:

• Catches win matches: That has been established a long time ago. 
• The Corridor of uncertainty: Looks like Hiesenberg at work here.
• Test cricket is the pinnacle of the game: Well, they keep saying that. But, those are usually the guys who promote T20 cricket.
• Play your natural game : What the hell is that? 
• If it is in my hitting zone, I will go for it: And if it is not in your hitting zone, then what do you do? Lend an axe, dig the earth and bury the bat? Huh?
• We don't worry about the opposition, we focus on our strengths: You will worry about them mate, once you get quality opposition. 
• I was just trying to hit the correct area: But, there are batsmen who will clobber you for sixes from your correct area. What if your correct area happens to be the same as theirs? What do you do then? 
• Bowling wicket to wicket: But, what if they are dispatched? Over your head? 
• They were not able to read my variations: Okay. Understood. Try doing that against Good batters. 
• I don't mind going for runs, I am always looking for the wickets : You will mind them if the captain screams at you. Ever heard the captain using swear words at you? What if you give away runs and then the captain gives the ball to someone else? 
• I was trying to bowl dot balls, build pressure and I knew that wickets would come: Well. That was no rocket science. Patience is the virtue.
• Just bowl straight: He will hit it straight then. 
• Once I am set, I know that I can do some damage: What if when you were trying to do some damage and suddenly, the furniture behind you was damaged by Kookaboora ball?
• Don't worry about the ranking. Ranking will take care of itself. We want to take one game at a time : You don't have to be an Einstein to say that. Cricket ranking works like that.
• Switch on and off between deliveries: Tell me something I don't know. 
• That's a great lesson for a youngster watching the game: What lesson? 
• He is better than his numbers suggest: Haha. Numbers do lie then. 
• Good line and length: Good for you, bad for him.
• That's a complete textbook shot: May I borrow the text-book please? I would like to read it.
• Right on the money: Someone should have told me that they are keeping money near the wickets.
• Business end of the innings: Do people start doing business during those overs? 
• Form is temporary, Class is Permanent: Sometimes, class is also temporary.
• When he hits the ball, it stays hit: Till how long?
• No matter which team wins the game today, the ultimate and real winner is cricket: But, I saw the points being given to one team and not the both. 
• Early wickets will be the key here: When was the last time early wickets were worthless? Tell me, please.
• Bowling in the block-hole: This ain't so bad. At least, they are not talking about black-holes.
• Mixing the pace will be crucial here: So, we have finally unraveled the secret ingredient to limited-overs cricket bowling?
• All the three results (4 in test cricket) are possible here: Yes sir. Duly noted. Will eliminate the others once we get the result.
• The next session is going to be very crucial: It is always the next session, isn't it?
• The bowler won't mind it at all (After the batsman takes a risk to hit a boundary): How do you know if he doesn't mind? Every bowler minds giving away runs.
• He is living dangerously here: Seriously? As far as I see, there is no danger to his life. It is just a game.
• It is a flat track and everybody will cash in: Lol. 
• This was a nice toss to win/lose: This is not so bad actually.
• Now would be a good time to get a wicket: When is a bad time to get a wicket? Will someone please tell me? Last time I checked, anytime you get a wicket, you inch closer to a win.

There are a hell lot of them out there. I will add to this list in case I am able to recall more of them.
For now, Enjoy the IPL and of course, it is full of cliche. Cheers!

Thank you Younis, Thank you Misbah

Like it is said, "Good Things don't last forever." Misbah and Younis were Pakistan's two good things. They weren't going to last forever.

They aren't. They are retiring. Two of Pakistan's most dedicated and dutiful servants have decided to call it a day on their careers.
                                           
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First time, I saw Misbah in that test series against India. I liked him from the first time I saw him. Extraordinary skills of concentration. Being born in a country where you need to shout to make yourself hear, he used his eyes to talk. He has a mesmerizing effect on everyone he knows. He is so calm, placid and humble that you feel like cuddling him. There was an air of greatness around him.

People remember him for playing that scoop shot off Joginder Sharma, and hence letting the T20 world cup 2007 slip away from Pakistan. But, what none seems to remember that he was the one of those guys who showed Pakistan to dream big in the first place. He carried his team completely on his lone shoulder and brought them this far. Pakistan will win a T20 world cup in their next attempt in 2009, Younis will be the captain.

Misbah, because of his heavy-weights on his shoulders, always looked older than he was. He was the man Pakistan needed. In a world of Lunatics, Misbah made sense to me. He took all the bullets fired at Pakistan's cricket to himself. Everyone complains about his "Tuk-Tuk" and talks about how slow he was, but none remembers how bad Pakistan were before he came. Without him, they would have struggled to bat their quota of overs.

Misbah had an amazing ability to inspire the team-mates around him. He gave the Pakistan their first test mace. It was arguably their greatest cricketing moment since triumph of 1992 world cup. He made hundred at Lord's. That push-up celebration is something, which I will remember for a very long time. He did more with his shrug and playing with his beards that most people achieve in a life-time. He gave Pakistan hope and ability to dream that they can be number one. He made them number one. However short it was, it was their most beautiful cricketing moment. He brought love back to the cricket-crazy country.

His numbers of 10 test centuries with a batting average of 45.84 won't do justice to how he made them. Almost every time he went out to bat, he was judged. By million eyes. People remember him for slow batting, but he has the second fastest test hundred of all times.

No Home tests, broken system, ancient analysis, no proper system, match-fixing, terrorism, unfit athletes. This list is just getting warmed up. And Yet Misbah rose them to Number one rankings. This would be a great achievement in any sports. Let alone cricket. No team has ever overcome so many obstacles to rise to the summit. Except Pakistan. Misbah stopped the madness inside Pakistan's cricket and brought serenity and calmness to it. He mostly succeeded. It wasn't perfect. But, still it was beautiful.

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 On the other hand, Younis is someone I have watched my whole cricketing life. In 2000s, when India used to play Pakistan, Indian bowlers had absolutely no clue where to bowl at him. He was adept at pace, wrist-spin, finger-spin, medium-pace, swing, or whatever you throw at him. He will smash the hell out of it. One of the most talented batsman I ever had the privilege to witness. He could bat all day. If given a chance, He would have batted all night without bothering to sleep. That's how much he liked to bat. There was a time, you drop him once and you prepare yourself for 100 more runs by his turmoil. He could reverse-sweep almost any bowl from leg-stump to 3 feet outside the off-stump. He was an unstoppable force in test cricket. When he came out to bat, you needed extreme skills along with a combination of millions of prayers to get him out. Once he gets going, he used to be in Zen frame of mind. Peaceful. Nothing in the world to worry about. His presence on the crease was one of the constants in the world. He just bats, bats and bats. No non-sense whatsoever. His brain is a cricketing machine.           

Younis and Misbah are someone who are perfect role-models for Pakistani young cricketers. I have never seen them on social media picking fights.

Younis is always someone, who guided youngsters, shared as much knowledge as he could. I was recently seeing a video when he was even passing batting advice to Shoaib Akhtar, and Shoaib was listening with a shrug. Younis always had a genuine smile and watching him all my entire life, I can tell you this: He was one of the most gentleman's cricketers to have ever played the game. If someone introduced Younis to him, you will give him a high-five.

His numbers are as good as anyone. In 115 tests, he has 9973 runs. His centuries count are 34. His test batting average is 53. Along with Misbah, he helped Pakistan reach number one in test rankings. He was someone Misbah could rely upon. Together when they batted, oppositions were not beaten, but annihilated. He was always friendly and he always looked like someone who you could go out on a dinner with. He will smile, make you smile. He was Mr. Dependable for Pakistan's cricket. He was never given the credit he deserved. In a career spanning 17 years, he should have played more than 115 tests. He averages more than 50 at home/away from home/at neutral venues. If given a chance to bat on another planet, he will average over 50 there as well.          

Perhaps, the biggest moment as a cricketer in Younis' career will be the T20 World cup 2009 win at Lord's. He led the team with authenticity and made Afridi a T20 superpower. He will always remain an underrated limited over players. An ODI average of 31 is just a glitch in the universe. He was way, way better than that. He gave his everything to change his ODI fortunes, but it just wasn't meant to be. A triple failures in world cup 2015 meant that last chance was gone. He departed very soon after that.     

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Experience of 190+ matches. Age experience of 83 years. That is not the only thing Pakistan is losing. More than this, two pure gentlemen of the game and two people who played cricket with all their hearts. Cricket as a sport is so much better because of them playing it.

So, Thank you Younis. Thank you Misbah.